I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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