my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
