I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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