Whod you bang
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
