I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
