she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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