I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..