new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub