margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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