It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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