It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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