we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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