Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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