Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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