Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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