i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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