She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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