Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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