Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
