Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
