no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
