I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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