Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
