They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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