Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
