I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
