Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
