is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
