Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize