Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
