I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
