RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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