I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
