I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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