I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
