I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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