Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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