No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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