Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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