i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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