he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
