I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
