Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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