White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
