Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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