5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
