I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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