i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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