I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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