did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
