I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
