And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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