Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
