May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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