Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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