This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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