i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
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