As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
