I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
