life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
