you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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