walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
