so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
