She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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